Hi Paul,

There is a proverb my cousin Rabbi Love always uses: "One hand washes the other." This statement, Paul, is your answer in a nutshell.

Choosing whether to go, or not to go to the reunion - like any decision you make - will have both positive and negative aspects and consequences. Let's look at these two choices through the clinically objective eyes of a love scientist using The System. Let's examine the questions in order:

1) What happens if you don't go?
2) What happens if you do go?
3) What should you do if you do go?

First of all, I need to warn you up front: if you don't go to the reunion, your fiancée might go so far as to call off the engagement. Why? Because she will think you're a taker. Just think: for a lousy grand, and four hours of not smiling at strangers, you would break her heart. Cheap! Cheap! Cheap! You know I only help men, but on this rare occasion, you are the thoughtless user. In reading between the lines of your question, I have the strangest feeling you are a pouter, or a Mama's boy. Am I getting warm?

Paul, do you really think there would be nothing to pay for this transgression? Do you really think she would let this slide? You will learn the true meaning of the word resentment when she makes you the poster boy for the word inconsiderate. Her Interest Level in you would definitely take a big dip for this one. Even in the best of circumstances, you would still pay a dear price in the way she treats you for a couple of months. The inevitable fights that would follow - seemingly over nothing - would cause her feelings to weaken. Why? Because fighting never raises a woman's Interest Level - unless you're a guest on the always-fabulous Jerry Springer Show!

I hope you can now see that you really must go to this event. Since you're going, make sure you don't make the devastating mistake of wearing a sour expression on your face. If you do, you will undoubtedly make her feel uncomfortable, and ruin her chances of having a good time. Then when you return home, she'll nag, and call you an insensitive pig because you didn't put your heart into it. Nagging usually starts at the end of the honeymoon - why rush it?

Let me show you how to get some mileage out of the reunion instead - and score so many points with her, that life at home will be blissful for months, perhaps forever. The technique is this: go to her reunion with a happy face. Why is this important? Because the only reason she wants you to go is so she can show you off to everybody, especially all the guys who rejected her, who now all have big wives with wrinkles. In addition, when you look like you're enjoying yourself on the dance floor with her, she'll believe her female former classmates are jealous of her. She will then feel lucky to be with such a fun guy, which is good for you. By merely making the effort to have a good time, she will give you credit for trying.

Having fun at her reunion is, in her eyes, a big deal, because she knows how much you hate these events. By going to the reunion and being a good sport, she will perceive your act as giving - and in the future, she will make her slate clear when you want to do something that she doesn't want to do.

You may ask: "How do I act charming and fun when I'm so 'uptight' around crowds?" Answer: By developing a personality. Go join Toastmasters or Dale Carnegie, or buy a dance video. An evening like this will only happen once every ten years (if that), and at worst, will only last four hours - so grow up and show her you are a man by rising to the occasion. Remember, she would do it for you.

To prevent Miss Right from straying, a man must possess confidence (in addition to self-control and Challenge). A confident man is able to carry his water under many conditions - so be flexible. Imagine this: what if I offered you a million dollars - would you be flexible then? What if my cousin, Sal "The Fish," told you: You are going to dance with your fiancée at the reunion. When I ask her what happened, she'd better give me a great report, or you and I will take a long walk down a dark alley! Get the drift? I knew that you would.

Guys, e-mail me at doclove@doclove.com with your love challenges. All will be answered, but because of space, only letters of general interest will be printed. To find out more about The "System" visit me at: www.doclove.com or call me at: (800) 404-2644.

Doc Love is a talk show host, entertainment speaker, and coaches men in his seminars. For the past thirty years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"

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