Hi Sam,

You are right: the other love doctors' advice is different from mine - in fact, it is usually the opposite of mine. The chances of getting useful information from Joyce Brothers, Dear Abby or her sister are about as good as Saddam Hussein making up with Israel.

The weakness in the other love doctors' advice lies in their research methods. When conducting surveys, they ask women: "What do you look for in a man?" Their question presupposes that what a woman says she wants in a man is the same as what she ends up with. Is this a correct assumption? You nice guys out there who ever lost a girl to a biker with a bone through his nose already know the answer to this.

When given love questionnaires, women list "sensitivity" and "caring" as the most important male qualities, but they don't mention looks or money - even though they are equally important to them. Why this omission? Because women want to believe that they are big supporters of "fairness" and they would give every guy carrying a bouquet of roses a chance. The reality is: they are only saying what's politically correct. The so-called love experts make the mistake of taking women's answers at face value.

How could these trained experts have overlooked the possibility that women might only be telling them what they want to hear? Are they afraid of second-guessing women and appearing sexist? Whatever the reason, one thing is certain: when men follow the experts' advice, they get slaughtered.

Thanks to the other love doctors, men have all but given up on understanding women. After enduring constant beatings in the dating world, they often (wrongly) conclude: "Women are illogical and inconsistent by nature - why else would they not follow their own wish lists?" At this point, men should doubt the credentials of the noted love authorities, but sadly, these men doubt themselves instead.

Enter The "System." In 1965, I wanted to answer the question "What does a woman want?" once and for all, so I started interviewing women. When I did so, I never took the first answer I got; instead I would probe like an Internal Affairs guy looking for dirty cops. Whenever a woman gave me a stock answer, I would smile politely, then dig deeper, tossing out follow-up questions like Columbo. I did this until I finally came up with the best question possible: "Describe the man you actually stayed with." This was how The "System" was born.

Investigating successful relationships, not wishes - what a concept! Unbelievable as it may sound, this is what those trained experts missed. I, Doc Love - who got a D in college Psychology - turned out to be the true scientist simply by asking the right question. I became the first (and to this day, the only) love doctor to actually study women's choices - not their words - and develop a system based on these facts. That's how I received the distinction "The First Man in 6000 Years to Understand Women."

Nowadays, men need my tactics more than ever. With so many men giving up on advice, only women populate the relationship aisles of the bookstores. Imagine: women - who already understand men - are the ones buying advice books while the people who need help the most - the men - are getting their hearts stomped on! In the Battle of the Sexes, this is not what I would call a fair fight!

The male ego contributes to the shortage of love advice by making men reluctant to seek coaching. Many men are afraid that admitting any ignorance about affairs of the heart will make them appear weak to other people - especially, to their male buddies.

Male silence in the marketplace of love advice - coupled with Feminist intimidation - also prevents T.V. and radio Program Directors from airing any love programs that genuinely benefit men. Their rationale: if men aren't buying advice books, why should we hire someone to help them?

But in spite of this gloom, there is hope for men. The recent success of men's magazines such as Maxim and Stuff prove that targeting a male market is a lucrative proposition. Even though these magazines deal mostly with such burning issues as how to choose a beer or what is Heidi Klum's bra size, it shows that things are changing.

The success of my own column is further proof that the trend of male apathy toward love advice is reversing - I've gotten hundreds of letters like Sam's that show there is a real need in this world for quality men's advice. I intend to fulfill that need by shouting on the rooftops about the power of The "System." Amen.

Guys, e-mail me at doclove@doclove.com with your love challenges. All will be answered, but because of space, only letters of general interest will be printed. To find out more about The "System" visit me at: www.doclove.com or call me at: (800) 404-2644.

Doc Love is a talk show host, entertainment speaker, and coaches men in his seminars. For the past thirty years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"

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