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Hi Doc,

I don't have a problem getting a woman to love me, but I can't seem to get her to keep loving me. I seem to be able to make it as far as about six months in a relationship, but by the seventh or eighth month every woman leaves me.

I'm a cool guy and I make very good money. Nevertheless I'm always getting dumped and I can't figure out why. The freaky thing is that I never see it coming. When they leave it's always ends with a big argument that comes out of nowhere.

Can you tell me the signs to look for to tell that a woman is getting turned off so that I don't get ambushed again? And could you also give me some tips about what I might be doing wrong that keeps making these women want to bail on me?

Craig - who is tired of losing

Advice for Single Guys from Success Coach - Doc Love

WOMEN DON'T LIE - MEN DON'T LISTEN

Hi Craig,

When a woman decides to leave a man with whom she's been in a committed relationship, her romantic Interest Level towards him, in most cases, does not suddenly drop from say 95% to 39%. Rather, her feelings of affection and romance toward her partner have been eroded slowly by the man's behavior and have finally sunk so low that she'd prefer to throw up than spend another day with him.

While this process is taking place, sadly, the man is usually cluesless that the woman's romantic feelings towards him are diminishing. Only when her Interest Level has sunk below the point of no return is the hapless chap informed that he is history.

How and why does this happen?

Lets take as an example, a typical guy who is clinically sane and not abusive or an alcoholic or drug addict. Furthermore let's assume he's basically a good guy with a job, who's responsible and has integrity.

When he gets dumped, it's usually because he's either being too nice, too available, too vulnerable and sweet, too predictable or too malleable and easily controlled so that she looses respect for him and her sexual attraction towards him dies a slow death. He is then no longer her romantic hero and she no longer sees him as mysterious or a Challenge in any way, although she once did.

Craig, what you probably do as time goes by, is get too comfortable with your girlfriend and you start to share too much about your personal insecurities. Or you don't take a stand and say the word "no" when it's appropriate, or you let her think that you can't live without her.

So instead Craig, when you start out with a woman, don't change your behavior as the months go by. You must be doing a lot of things right because you're getting past sixty days with all these gals. So keep doing all the things that made these women fall in love with you initially, and don't adopt any of these bad habits that I've described.

Now let me share some of the warning signs that you can use as feedback to let you know that you're getting off track and need to correct your course with your next girlfriend. When a good relationship starts to go south, 90% of the time it goes down something like this:

First, there is the Getting That Strange Feeling Stage. This is when a woman's feelings toward her boyfriend or husband, subtly begin to shift. She herself may not even be aware of such a change, although she does find it curious that she isn't laughing as hard at her man's jokes any longer. Nor does she touch him in public anymore the way she did in the good old days.

An objective observer would notice that her enthusiasm towards her partner has become muted. Still, she has warm feelings for him, although she admits to herself she can't quite understand why she stared so long at the handsome new office manager at work. She even had a tingling sensation in her stomach.

These changes are occurring because all the things that her guy has been doing to lower her interest level are finally starting to take their toll. At this point her romantic Interest Level towards him is hovering somewhere between 51% and 60%.

Second, there is the Constant Arguing and Making up Stage. This is when her waning feelings cause her to start arguments. She will do things that she knows will upset her partner, hoping that he will do her dirty work for her - break up the relationship. But like most men he doesn't have any idea that this is happening.

She is usually guilt-wracked at this stage and seldom departs for good because pity is the final vestige of emotion she has left for him. At this point, her romantic interest level has sunk to somewhere between 40% and 49%. Her body is there with him but not her heart.

Finally, there is the Armaggedon Blowup Stage. This is when she gets into a bitter, climactic argument with her man during which she will usually climb up on her soapbox (she probably instigated the quarrel herself) and act outraged that her man would dare lose his temper at such a "trivial thing" (she conveniently forgot they had a date for his father's surprise birthday party and instead went out clubbing with her girlfriends).

With self-righteous indignation, she will inform the unfortunate guy that their relationship is irrevocably terminated. The guy of course is stunned by such a "sudden" breakup. In reality it wasn't sudden al all. Her Interest level started at 95% and sank to below 40% over time - and that's when she leaves.

So, remember guys, always be a Challenge and you'll never get set up to take a fall.

To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me at www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644.

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"

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