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Hi Doc,

I read your answer to Tex, about whether he should take his ex-girlfriend back after she cheated on him. Last year I made a terrible mistake of falling for another man's flattery, and cheated on my boyfriend whom I loved very much.

Some might wonder how I could cheat on somebody I love. I am not going to make excuses for my wrongdoing. But at the time I was feeling a little insecure about my relationship with my boyfriend.

My boyfriend was talking like he wanted to commit to marriage or moving in together and buying a home. Talk like that scared me a lot and I wasn't sure I was ready for that big of a step in the relationship.

I made the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life when I decided to cheat on him. I did get caught the very first time I cheated. In a way I think I wanted him to catch us, so I wouldn't have to deal with the fears of committing to the relationship. Like I said, I was scared and didn't know what to do. I know now that cheating was one of the worse things I could have done. Of course the man I was cheating with meant nothing to me.

My boyfriend was willing to forgive me and wanted us to stay together. I didn't feel he could ever forgive the terrible thing that I had done and told him to go away and find somebody else. All my life I have disliked cheaters and I could not at the time forgive myself for what I had done.

For 5 months I went into depression for the wrong I had done. I shut myself off from my close family and friends. A lot of times I wouldn't answer the phone. I didn't go anywhere but to work. At work just I did my job. I didn't socialize with anyone and just kept to myself.

I am happy now, because the boyfriend I had cheated on helped pull me out of my depression and took me back. We are living together now and plan to marry. We do still have a few trust issues that we are dealing with. I have found a voice tape recorder hidden in our house by him. My boyfriend works nights and I work days. Several times he has left work to check and see if I was at home alone, but it is getting less frequent. I have told him I will never cheat on him again, and know for a fact, now that I have him back, that I never will cheat on him again.

So you can tell Tex, that it is possible to get back with somebody who did you wrong, if the person is truly sincere and wants to be forgiven. Remember Doc Love, we are all humans and no one is perfect. We all make mistakes and we are all capable of learning from them. I hope you will forward this letter to Tex so that he can see that people can change. Thanks.

Caprice - who is a wiser woman

Advice for Single Guys from Success Coach - Doc Love

WOMEN DON'T LIE - MEN DON'T LISTEN

Hi Caprice,

You're quite an interesting woman. Your boyfriend tells you that he wants to marry you, and that makes you feel insecure about your relationship with him. If he'd been becoming more distant or less affectionate I could certainly understand your reaction, but he was letting you know that he truly cares for you - poor guy. Isn't a good man who wants commitment what all you gals clamor for? No wonder most men are bewildered by women!

And then to deal with your insecurities, you go to bed with another guy - makes sense to me! What did he say to you, "Hi good looking, let's go to my house?"

You mentioned "of course the man I was cheating with meant nothing." Sounds to me like you have real high standards. One compliment from someone you don't think much of, and you do the worst thing you can do to your true love. And Ricky Lake calls men dogs!

Maybe your self-esteem is just so low that you'll do anything to sabotage a good relationship because you don't believe that you deserve to have a good man in your life.

Let me ask you a question that the other love doctors never would ask. How are you able to respect a man who would take you back after you've done him dirty like you did? If you're really honest with yourself, I think you'll have to admit that your level of respect for him has been irretrievably compromised and this fact doesn't bode well for the longevity of your relationship. Why? Because The Reality Factor says that the woman's Interest Level is built on respect.

You're either going to start becoming interested in guys who you see as more masculine (who would never put up with such crap), or your guy is gonna' drop you like a Mad Cow burger, if and when he grows some brains and realizes what a number you've run on him.

Here's something else no one talks about. Your guy's romantic Interest Level in you can never go back to where it was in the high 90's. Knowing that you are capable of cheating again he will instinctively keep his Interest Level lower to protect himself from future pain. (It hurts less when you're not totally in love with the person who cheats on you - again.)

Even as things stand now it doesn't sound so great. How much trust can you possibly have in your relationship if he's hiding tape recorders in the house to check on you? How did it make you feel when you discovered the tape recorder? And how do you feel about being with a guy who is so insecure about your loyalty that he runs around spying on you? I see nothing but trouble ahead.

Caprice, you also say that things are just getting better and better now that you've repented. Talk to me in a year and tell how great things are then.

Remember, guys, once they stray, stay away.

To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me at www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644.

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"

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More Advice for Single Guys from Success Coach - Doc Love