I’m writing you from Scandinavia. I’ve studied your book and listened to your radio show, and I have to tell you that in the beginning I was skeptical. But I have to admit that more and more it makes sense. But how do you manage a woman who’s using “The System” on you?

I’m 51 and have been seeing Lisa for more than two months. We just had our eleventh date. She calls me often, but she does all the things I’m supposed to do. For instance, she waits for me to touch her. She always guides the conversation to topics she wants to discuss. She spoon-feeds me the dates she wants us to have. In short, she keeps me guessing and on my toes.

Lisa has three jobs and three kids and her sports hobbies take up the rest of her time. If it weren’t for her inviting me out, I would assume that she’s lost interest. Jokingly I asked her what she expected of me at the party she recently invited me to, and she said without hesitation, “Just don’t flirt with my friends!”

So it’s a bit of a cold war, Doc. I try to play it cool, too, by not talking about the future or my feelings. I try to keep the conversation light and tease her often. But she is a very attractive woman and I feel that her Interest Level is lower than mine, and I think I should do something radical or quit. Maybe Lisa is just a user — but then she’s very sweet and Giving when we meet, she’s always on time and never plays games.

It is difficult to find times to meet since I have two kids from my previous marriage as well. Maybe five kids between us is the problem. What I’m most worried about with Lisa is too little touching and that she never speaks about the future. But she always kisses me on the mouth when we meet and she sometimes takes my hand to caress it.

What do you think, Doc? Should I try another tactic?

Ellis - who can’t get out from under her thumb

Read Doc Love’s Advice to Ellis