I’m in my mid-thirties, newly divorced, and have my own business. I recently purchased “The System” in an attempt to understand what went wrong with my marriage and not repeat the mistakes of the past.

After my divorce, but before I bought your book, I met an 18-year-old girl, Jami, through my business. She was and still is a regular customer. Our first date was to a concert. She invited me at the last minute and I foolishly accepted. The second time was to see a movie, also a last-minute invite. The third time was another concert, planned in advance. All three times one or more of her girlfriends came along. The fourth time was dinner with her parents, and I insisted on treating.

From your book it seems I did everything wrong. I bought Jami expensive presents. I complimented her too much. We also e-mailed and text-messaged every day.

Then she asked me for a job at my company. I told her I had concerns about that because I had feelings for her. She responded that she didn’t have feelings for me, but wanted to be friends. I told her it would be too painful. This was all via e-mail and instant message.

After this, we stopped communicating for the most part. Occasionally she e-mails asking what I’m up to, and I’ve always responded. In her most recent message she asked for assistance with one of her college projects. (She wants to be an actress, by the way.)

My gut tells me that Jami is an immature, inflexible taker, and that she’s not the one for me, but I find her very attractive. Doc, what should I do? Should I respond to her need for assistance? What do you think Cary Grant would do in this situation?

I would appreciate it if you could give me some guidance on this matter.

Frederic - who got your book a little too late

Read Doc Love’s Advice to Frederic