March 16, 2006
How Does Ralph Fiennes Handle Mixed Signals?
Hey Doc,
I’ve read your columns for some time now and would like to thank you for your astute advice on handling women. Even though I try to practice “The “System,” I acknowledge that I still need improvement. The following scenario is a good example of this.
While on a flight a few weeks back, I sat next to an attractive girl named Brianna. Before we parted ways, I asked for her phone number and waited seven days to call her. I called her on a Monday and told her that I wanted to take her out for drinks that Thursday and she agreed.
On Wednesday she committed the cardinal sin of dating: she broke the date using the excuse that her “friend” was in town. She then counter-offered, but weakly, by asking if I wanted to go out with her and her “friends.” I didn’t take the bait, but I still blundered by asking her to take time away from her friends on Sunday so I could take her out for lunch. She said that she would call back.
Realizing the serious mistake I made, I called her soon afterwards and explained that I forgot that I’d made plans for Sunday and was busy the entire weekend. Thursday was my only available day. I could then hear her hesitating for a moment, and then she said “We should reschedule,” but she didn’t give a specific day. I didn’t respond to her verbally but in my mind I was thinking “Yeah, right.”
Over the next few days, I told myself I shouldn’t call this girl because she wasn’t interested in me. The words that kept haunting me, though, were “We should reschedule.” A little less than two weeks later, I decided to give it one last try. After calling two times and getting her answering machine, I left a short message giving the day and time I wanted to pick her up for dinner, my phone number, and nothing else. After two days without a reply, I promptly erased her number, expecting to never see her again. To my surprise, she called back and apologized for not calling sooner. She said she’d been feeling ill but was better now and would like to go out to dinner with me.
We went out and had a good time. I kept the conversation light, my eyes on hers, and made her laugh. At the end of the evening, I walked her to her place and stopped a few feet from the entrance like a gentleman. I decided not to kiss her that night, but now realize that I should have done so to gauge her true Interest Level.
At this point I’m unsure of what to do. Brianna is pretty, with a very upbeat and warm personality. I am interested in seeing her again, but I don’t know if I should pursue her. I think that her actions raise red flags and green flags at the same time. What do you think, Doc? Do you think she’s given me mixed signals? If not, then how should I pursue this girl?
Brandon - who doesn’t know if he’s coming or going
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