Hey Doc,

I’ve known Candace for about eight years. Over all those years we’ve dated off and on. Every time we get together, things are fantastic for a month or two and then Candace shuts down emotionally and becomes very closed. Our conversations then tend to become very shallow and don’t go much beyond what happened at work that day, and then they disappear altogether. As you might imagine, this is enormously frustrating. Eventually, this leads to our breaking up. I simply can’t communicate with the girl.

Before we got back together the last time, Candace spent some time thinking things over to avoid past mistakes that led to our breaking up. However, after about four months we ended up breaking up again. This time, I was the one who initiated it. At this point I was beyond frustrated and tired of pretending that we had a real relationship.

Doc, to put it bluntly, I’m too old for this. However, there has always been some sort of deep emotional connection between Candace and me that brings us back together, but it seems like she gets afraid when things are good and then she shuts down and things go bad. At least that’s how I see it from where I stand.

Now I’m wondering if I did the right thing. I waited three weeks to contact Candace, apologized for my stupidity and tried to get her to talk to me. So far she has not responded. At this point I don’t know if this is the same cycle playing itself out and our deep connection is still there, or if it’s really over this time and I should just let her go and try to get on with my life once and for all.

What do you think, Doc? Any insight whatsoever would be greatly appreciated.

Riles - who wonders if his time has finally run out

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