You don’t need a psychologist to tell you that the best relationships are those that are based on good communication.
Yet, many relationships do not enjoy good communication and they don’t seem to do anything about it. They carry on along their paths, hoping that somehow everything will fall into place. At times, it does – thanks to the efforts of our partners, but generally it does not. Fault lines are allowed to deepen and reach a stage where they can no longer be bridged.
The first requirement to have good communication within a relationship is to respect one another. Men who consider their partners inferior can rarely, if ever, strike good relationships. The same is true of women. If they look down upon their partners then they can never hope to gain their confidence and affection.
Good communication also requires good listening skills. A couple must learn to listen to each other. They must pay attention to what their partner is saying, and respond. Very often, fault lines develop because the man and woman don’t pay attention to what each other is saying. This can be very frustrating – for one or for both.
There should also be empathy. A person must show concern when things go wrong. This is the unspoken communication. One does not have to express it. Mere body language becomes a source of comfort. You feel stronger if your partner holds your hand and says that you can overcome your misfortunes. Suddenly, you don’t feel alone. The relationship deepens.
Another way to build a relationship is to discuss uncomfortable issues. It is very hard to tell your partner how your boss has mistreated you or how you have made a fool of yourself before your colleagues. It requires great courage to own up your faults. But if you have a caring partner, and if you believe that she will stand by you, then you must discuss subjects that hurt male egos or female vanities. You will find that you have shed a big psychological burden. More than that, the emotional bonds between you and your partner will become stronger.
The same applies to sexual relationship. Couples perform better when they respect each other, and communicate better with each other. The communication need not be through words alone. Simple acts of patting, caressing or holding hands are a great form of communication. They dissolve resentments over perceived or actual slights, bridge distances and generate positive energy.