You’ve met someone you really like. You have common interests and you’re physically attracted to her. She’s nice, smart, has a decent job and seems to have herself together. What more could you ask?
Or rather, what more should you ask? You should ask yourself if you have chemistry with this woman. Why? Because without chemistry, you’ll end up wanting her for a friend, not a life partner.
What is chemistry anyway? It’s not an overused phrase, that’s for sure – it’s an important one! Chemistry is as important to a relationship as respect or like-mindedness is when it comes to values.
Chemistry is that feeling of rightness, comfort, ease and openness that everyone wants to have in a relationship. It’s also that spark that you feel ignite each time you’re near each other.
Let’s look at ways to tell if you have chemistry:
Do you have a spark? That spark is the tingly, butterfly feeling you get when you see her or she’s nearby. Yes, it’s sort of the same as the feeling you get when you have a crush on someone. But it’s more substantial than that. The spark isn’t only physical – it’s a mental thing, too. She piques your interest on more than one level.
Are you comfortable when you’re around her? Do you feel like you can be yourself around her to some degree? Do you feel that she’s comfortable, too? Do you feel comfortable in public with each other? How about in private?
How do you feel about her when she’s not around? Do you smile when you think of her and wish she were with you? Do you look forward to spending time with her?
Are you in sync with one another? It’s not like having a routine. Chemistry means you’re both up for whatever comes along. You’re not dreading an argument because you feel she’ll want to do one thing and you’ll want to do another.
Can you picture having a long-term relationship with this person? Chemistry will get you through the years.
Depending on how you answer the above questions, you may or may not have good chemistry with this woman. If you’re unsure, check out the “no chemistry warning signs” below. They’ll help you determine if there is or isn’t chemistry between the two of you.
No Chemistry Warning Signs:
- When you’re together, you’re thinking of everything and everyone but her.
- She annoys you – a lot. Everyone is annoying once in awhile, but a lot is too much.
- You don’t miss her when she’s not around. No, you aren’t going to pine after her every minute you’re apart, but you should probably have a fond thought of her once in awhile.
- You don’t feel like you can be yourself around her. You feel stiff and uncomfortable, like you can’t wait to say goodnight so you can relax and be you.
- You don’t approve of or understand in the least why she does what she does.
- The relationship seems like a lot of work and very little pleasant interaction.
- You’re not sure you can imagine spending your life with her.
Your relationship isn’t always going to be sunshine and smiles. People get on each other’s nerves and do things that the other person thinks are idiotic. At the beginning of a relationship, you might not be ready to propose marriage, but if you have some chemistry, you should at least be able to imagine it without a feeling of dread.
If your current dates and you don’t have chemistry, don’t worry. The beautiful thing about this world is that it’s filled with great women who you will potentially have great chemistry with – you just need to find them!