When we meet someone or see someone for the first time; what we see physically stimulates us either in a negative or positive way in regards to that person.
Our brains respond by what is called the sexual arousal or lust phase of love. If we experience an attraction it induces a bio chemical response to the sighting. If we are not attracted to someone there is also a bio chemical reaction that reinforces repulsion or turn off.
The initial lust phase we feel is stimulated in our brains to release the sex hormones testosterone in men and estrogen in women. Its these two hormones that make a man or woman have the urge to mate. When we release these hormones the urge can stay with us up until two months every time they are released.
When people initially feel positive attraction when they first meet someone they find attractive chemicals are released from the brain stimulating the attraction. However when they see them again if the attraction not the same; a bio chemical reaction does not occur again to keep the attraction going. The hormones are not released in the brain because in this case the attraction is no longer there.
When the attraction of sexual arousal dies feelings do also. What happens is the potentiality of relationship ends . When the hormones stop the attraction dies too. This is what happens in one night stands and brief encounters that fall to the waste side quickly. It takes other chemical reactions to occur in the brain in two other stages of the love equation to make a lust attraction develop into a romantic attraction and then end in emotional attachment or bonding to complete the phases of a true love relationship.
When only the lust phase is stimulated the two parties may have sex but there is no relationship after that. It dies completely because the other two chemical stages were not met.
When all three stages are met this is what we call two people having chemistry. In order to truly be “in love” those criteria must be met or the relationships don’t work. One may have chemical attraction for the other only. These relationships don’t work either because the attraction is one sided.
In reality both parties have to have mutual chemistry for a true love relationship. This is why people feel something is missing in their relationships that do not have the chemistry factor. They choose to overlook the true feelings of what love should be at the expense of other things. They may choose a relationship for things like money or convenience. In cases like this it is not shocking to find cheating occurring. The reason things like cheating occurs is because the person is stepping out of the relationship that lacks chemistry to find the missing chemistry with someone else. This is due to the fact that they settled for a relationship that doesn’t have that spark so to speak. This can be very hurtful particularly if the other party is trying to make it work and can’t understand why it isn’t. It’s because there is no mutual chemistry. When there is no mutual chemistry there is no real love bonding that occurs when two people are in love.