Have you tried a dating site before but your results flopped? That’s typical for people who don’t understand how it works – and like anything else that’s new to you – you have to educate yourself to get the best results!
Most people simply fill in their name, maybe stick a picture on the site, and list “walks along the beach” as their favorite activity.
That won’t get you anywhere!
In this lesson, we’re going to cover the Internet dating scene and in the end I’ll give you a couple of little tasks you can tackle now.
Ready to start?
What Is Online Dating?
Online dating isn’t simply having a long distance relationship on the ‘net. Many people do meet that way – maybe in a music or TV fan chat room (not necessarily a dating site) – but it’s also meant as a bridge to connect local individuals to one another if a match within the system is found.
The online dating scene can be a little intimidating.
There are so many people there – some seem to be absolute pros at maneuvering the dating sites and some look like they put up a shell of a profile page and ran away scared.
Some online dating sites connect groups of individuals to communicate with one another for friendships. It’s more than just a one on one romantic connection – many solid friendships are made on Internet dating sites today!
You might find a friend to have an occasional lunch with, or someone worthy of proposal – and everything in between.
The online dating services doesn’t hand pick (by a human reviewer) the perfect person for you. It’s not a match-making service in that regard.
What it is, is a place where you can make connections via the computer. And sometimes that evolves into a phone or in-person meeting if everything goes smoothly initially.
Most online dating sites have some semblance of free service available, but you really can’t participate to any real degree unless you give it a test drive and become an official member.
What information are they going to want to know? Well here’s a sample list – but keep in mind that you often retain control over what you share and what details you choose to give out.
· Body type
Many people leave out certain profile items that they don’t want to disclose – like salary, for example. Or maybe body shape – those are all optional for you to fill in on most sites.
The reason these criteria are listed is so that the computer system can easily match up people who fit your needs and the needs of others.
For example, perhaps your age bracket is strictly listed as hoping to meet someone who is 18-25. If you’ve chosen this, then it wouldn’t present you with anyone over age 25.
Each site allows you to include a profile picture.
Some people stress unnecessarily about this. Online dating has become a spot for people to weed out the individuals whose entire personalities don’t match theirs – and believe it or not, looks are often not the #1 priority!
An online dating site doesn’t just have profiles with an email contact system, either. It includes features members can use like chat rooms, web cam hang outs, and even message boards where you can post questions and help others who are just learning to navigate the process of online dating.
The free services most sites allow are just enough of a tease to entice you to sign up. For example, you can post a profile. But when someone contacts you on the site, you have to sign up as a member to able to read or reply to the message.
Decide ahead of time what type of online dating site you’re seeking. Do you want one that encompasses all levels of connections – from friendships to lifetime partners? Or are you looking for a fast hookup with someone and don’t care if it develops into something more?
The Steps You’ll Take to Use an Official Online Dating Site
I know how awful it is to spend every night sitting there alone, wishing you had someone to talk to. Once you get past the party scene, it isn’t fun to have to go to a bar and hang out in order to meet someone single, either!
Workplaces are good for meeting people – but not always – and you really can’t rely on friends and family to set you up with blind dates time and time again. So that leaves online dating sites as the most reliable method for helping you make the most important connection of your life.
Not All Dating Sites Are Created Equally
Never, ever just join a dating site that you see in some random ad. You want honest recommendations. Sites are creates differently – and some have more stable reputations than others. You want real reviews by members who have had a great experience using the site.
What Does Online Dating Cost?
Initially, you can sign up as a free user of the Internet dating site. It won’t open you up to all of the features, but it’ll get you closer to your goals.
My advice is that you sign up as a free member at several sites and then decide which one seems like the kind of dating site you’d most prefer to use. As a free user, you might be able to browse profiles, but not initiate contact, or it might be more restrictive to seeing profile pictures only.
How Is a Connection Made to Someone?
The dating sites offer a two-way street. You can contact others, or wait to be contacted by someone else! The system will do its part by running your interests and preferences through the system, sending you matches it finds in the process.
Once you get the list, you can go through and whittle down the list to those you feel have potential. Then you might send out an introductory email to see if there’s a mutual interest.
What’s the Best Way to Make a Profile?
Our next lesson is going to really teach you how to make an amazing profile, but for now, you can sign up for a free profile on a few sites and add your picture and basic information.
It’s not advisable to be extremely detailed with your profile information until you’re sure this is someone who you want to know. Feel free to list hobbies and interests, because this is where initial connections are made.
Tasks for You to Accomplish
I want you to take out a piece of paper (or do this on your computer). Write down the following and answer the questions:
1. By joining an online dating site, I hope to _____________________________
2. For communication with others, I want to use the following (check all that apply): ___ Email ___ Site/Online Chat ___ Phone ___ Web Cam Hang Out ___ In person meeting
3. I want to find (check all that applies): ___ friendship ___ companionship ___ long term relationship
Those three questions will help you determine a path for your online dating journey so that you stick to meeting your goals and don’t get sidetracked with something you really don’t want for yourself.
Our next lesson we’ll talk about which dating site you should choose!