When you meet someone you like and you successfully strike up a conversation you need to highlight your selling points.
You’re not going to list them like some crazed car salesman, but you’re going to be comfortable and casual, and in this way, you will be conveying important information about yourself to her.
Here are some tips about shining the spotlight on your best features:
Bring up your interests and accomplishments naturally. If there’s room in the conversation to do this, then go ahead. Don’t force it, though. She’ll want to know what you find exciting and what challenges you’ve tackled. This lets her know you have a zest for life and an interest in growing.
You can also talk about things you’re passionate about and have yet to try, such as parachuting, writing a book, walking the entire Appalachian Trail, or seeing the Great Wall of China. This is important because it gives her an idea of how you see your life taking shape, and what you really get excited about.
Don’t try to say things just because they seem right, like “I love long walks on the beach.” Be original, but be honest, too. You can tell her the things you think will impress her, but only if they’re true for you. If she loves the outdoors, you can throw in information about how much you love to hike. If she seems interested in history, you can let her know that the American Revolution fascinates you.
Also, throw in some information that reflects your reliability, integrity, intelligence, compassionate nature, ability to MacGyver things, or the fact that you own a small cottage in the North Country. She wants to know that you’re a solid person who can think on his feet. The cottage is a nice addition (make sure you really do have one, and if you don’t, don’t worry about adding that in).
There are some things that you can’t use as selling points, and they should not be included in “getting to know you” conversations.
- You still live with your parents. Unless you are under the age of 25, give or take, this is a negative. If you’re still young, it’s just a neutral thing, but it’s not going to win you any points. There are only certain cases where this is acceptable, and they’re few and far between. However, it is fine to have housemates if you’re in your twenties.
- You are presently not working. You may be laid off from your job and searching, or waiting to be called back to work. That can be explained. But if you are jobless and without a plan, unless you’re a retiree, this is not going to be looked upon favorably.
- You have some issues that need to be dealt with. This is dicey, because most of us arrive at adulthood with the potential for issues, and as we go through life, many of us have things to deal with – that’s fine. No one is without problems, minor or major. But during the initial conversations, you probably don’t need to bring up a past addiction or similar problem. If you currently have a problem, you need to take steps to deal productively with it.Then, as time goes on, and more information is shared, you can say, “In the past, I’ve had some issues with _______, but I’ve been constructively working on this, and feel confident in the progress I’ve made.”
Now that you know how to sell yourself, start taking stock of who you are and what you’re all about. This is where you’ll find the valuable information you want to share with the woman who might be your partner forever.