You’ve found a great girl, asked her out and she’s accepted your invitation. Congratulations! But wait – now you’re nervous! How are you going to impress her so that you can survive the first date and stay off the no-callback list?
First, relax a little. She’s nervous, too. First dates are always the most nerve-wracking for everyone. You’ll get through it. But let’s make sure you get through it unscathed. This date is like a blank canvas, and you can paint it any way you want it, so get those creative juices flowing and start thinking about how you want to make it special enough for her to put you at the top of her list.
Chances are you may have already asked her to a specific event or outing, like a visit to the art museum in your city or a baseball game or a concert. You have a starting place if this is the approach you took, but if you haven’t then you need to make a decision about what you’ll be doing on this first date of yours.
Be sure to pick an activity that you will both enjoy. Let’s look at the elements of a great first date:
- If you feel comfortable, you can bring her a small gift (a single rose or a tiny package of specially wrapped chocolates from the local specialty candy store). You don’t have to bring a gift.
- Whether you’re picking her up or meeting her somewhere, be on time. This can’t be stressed enough.
- Greet her with a smile and a light hug – no kissing, no bear hugs. If she rejects the hug, don’t worry. She might be a little reserved. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you.
- Start a conversation. You can plan what you’re going to say before you meet. It can be related to what you’re going to be doing on your date or something interesting that happened to you during the day. Make sure you give her a sincere compliment like “It’s really nice to see you, I’ve been looking forward to this all day.” This type of compliment is very innocuous and there’s no risk in making her feel uncomfortable, like if you were to say, “Wow, your body looks awesome in that sweater!”
- If you’re driving somewhere, open the car door for her. Chivalry is not dead. Likewise, open doors at the restaurant, theater, etc. If she’s an uber-feminist and doesn’t want you to do these things, she’ll let you know. Most women appreciate these small acts.
- Hopefully, you’ve chosen an activity that will give you time to chat, but also allow for some time to not feel the need to talk. It’s possible that if you hit it off well enough and have enough in common, neither of you will struggle with small talk anyway. Don’t worry about lulls in conversation. They will fill themselves in if you relax and are observant of what’s going on around you. Try to keep conversations mostly positive.
- When your date is over, say goodnight with a hug or light kiss on the cheek. If you think things went really well, you can try for a kiss on the lips, but no tongue or slobbering. Keep your hormones in check!
- Hopefully you enjoyed your date, and if you did, tell her so. If you didn’t, you can still tell her you had fun, but don’t promise to call unless you intend to!
Now comes the question of how soon should you call her. If you think things went really well, you can call her in a couple of days and briefly tell her that you enjoyed the first date and ask if she’d like to go out again in a week or two.
Don’t make it too soon – you’ll seem desperate. If you get nervous about phone calls, practice first – just like in the movies. Before you dial, take some deep breaths. Hopefully she feels the same, and you’re on your way to another great date with a great woman.
If the date isn’t as great as you’d hoped, don’t worry. You just had a good practice experience and you can learn from it. What went right, and what went wrong? Remember, you might not be fully to blame if the date didn’t go well. Try to see where you can do better in the future and move on.