Okay here we are again – working on making the most of your online dating journey. I want to discuss the profile set up with you. It’s so important to maximize your profile space.
No two sites are exactly the same, so it won’t be an exact step-by-step lesson but rather an analysis of what you can do to make your profile POP in comparison to other men and women in the membership.
Your profile is going to convey to others what you’re hoping to get out of the online dating process, which is why early on, I had you write down what you wanted from this.
Common Mistakes People Make With Their Profiles
It’s very easy to get to a site, sign up and have no idea what to fill in on the options or parts where you have the ability to free-style your comments. You might even feel like quitting and signing out if you’re not prepared.
You do want to expand on some things that are important to you. For example, let’s say that you love outdoor activities. Don’t just check that option. Instead, expand on it!
Tell the other members if you’re the type who just likes to feed the ducks at your local pond or if you prefer to strap on some rock climbing gear and reach the highest peak in your community.
Things like religion can be expanded on as well. Don’t just say you’re a Christian if four out of seven days of your week are spent on church related activities. You’ll want to find someone equally enthusiastic, so express your involvement in a detailed manner.
The last thing you want to do is lie in your profile.
So many people feel inadequate when they read about the real description they made of themselves, but someone will love you for who you are. There’s no need to boost your profile with falsities.
If you lie, one of two things might happen:
1. You meet the wrong kind of people because the system is matching you with other members based on things that aren’t true.
2. You’ll meet Mr. or Mrs. Right – but then have to start your relationship off with an, “I’m sorry for lying” speech – that’s no fun!
And it’s not just the little things people lie about out of fear, either. Some people say they want kids – even when they know they don’t – because they feel they won’t be able to find a date if they tell the truth!
The sad thing is, you’ll be filtering out the right kind of people when you tell a tall tale like this on an online dating site.
And don’t get all freaked out about your profile picture. Yes, make sure you put your best foot forward – but don’t beat yourself up about how you look.
Even if looks aren’t important to someone, they’ll still want to put a face to the name and know who it is they’re dealing with on the dating site.
When it comes to pictures, the biggest lies are those who put completely fake photos up – or those who use pictures from a time long ago in their past – like a decade ago when they were more youthful looking.
Don’t wait until you lose 50 pounds to take a new profile picture. You can always update it later. Just post it the way you really look today – besides, you want someone to love you for who you are!
Whipping Up a Profile When You’re Not a Good Writer
You don’t have to be some award-winning author to develop a great profile that attracts the right kind of people.
Initially, it might seem like a tedious process to get all of this stuff filled out – but once the profile is put together, you’ll be able to enjoy the interaction process and getting to know others!
The bad thing is, the profile set up is the first thing you do when you join an online dating site – and it comes at a time when you’re nervous and prone to make mistakes.
So take a deep breath and slow down when you tackle this step. There’s no big rush (even if It feels like you want to hurry up and find a romantic partner).
Before, I had you go through and look through other members’ profiles. But what I do not want you to do is cut and paste someone else’s profile information into yours – even if the information is relevant to you, too.
Consider it legally their property – not yours for the taking. It is okay to emulate someone else’s style if it’s similar to you and you just feel like you need some guidance.
Firstly, you’ll probably be prompted to choose a screen name. This is for people who don’t want their real name used on the online dating site – it lets you choose when to reveal your name to potential suitors.
Be careful when you choose your username. Choosing “hotsexkitten” as your screen name will evoke a response from men who are only out for one thing. Likewise, if you’re searching profiles – look to see what someone’s using for their screen name because it says lot about how they view themselves.
Any time you’re allowed to expand on your profile choices, try to do it. If it asks if you have any pets, for example, don’t just check “dog.” Explain it further if you rescue greyhounds and foster animals until they’re adopted out.
The more you write and expand on your profile answers, the more your profile visitors will stay to see what you’re all about. They won’t just click out to find someone else.
When you expand, it’s important that you don’t come across as egotistical or as someone with an extremely low self esteem. Both can be viewed negatively.
Try to showcase your personality, but read what you just wrote to see if you look like you’re showering yourself with praise – or looking pathetic and unlovable.
Writing should be done in a natural and conversational tone. Don’t try to write an essay like you’re submitting it to a college professor. It’s okay to use slang, be goofy with emoticons and talk in a non-traditional manner with an online dating site.
Online Dating Profiles – Men Versus Women
Both sexes want the other to find them attractive. Women are primarily concerned about weight and age, while men want to project muscles. But your vanity could prevent the right kind of person from finding you.
Men, keep in mind that if you put extremes into your “wants” list – like under 25 years old, no more than 115 pounds, women will not contact you even if they fall slightly out of range.
And it may be tempting to use a profile pic of your six pack abs, but if you’re seeking a woman to potentially be your wife, she may be more interested in the whole you rather than one physical aspect of your body.
Women have a tendency to dwell on the past in their profiles. If you read some of them, you’ll see that they say more about what they don’t want than they do about what they do desire!
They’re harboring anger or hurt over past failed relationships, and they want to make sure that they don’t run into Mr. Wrong anytime soon on the dating site.
Unfortunately, all this does is make men view you as a negative Nelly – and they’ll pass over your profile because it reads so gloomily.
Whether you’re a man or woman, make sure you work on tidying up your profile content a bit before it goes live. Check spelling at the very least – it doesn’t have to have perfect grammar, but you also don’t want to appear uneducated.
Once you create your profile, make a note of where it resides so that you can freshen it up if and when you have something change. Some people forget where they posted it and never return to check and see if it’s still up to date.
Tasks for You to Accomplish Until Next Lesson:
Now that you’ve read about what should (and shouldn’t) go into your profile, I want you to visit the sites you signed up with and flesh out your profile a bit.
It should include a recent picture of you, along with expanded commentary on as many choices you’re given as possible.
In our next lesson it’ll be time to venture out of the nest on your chosen dating sites and start mingling with others who share some common interests.
Now go make yourself proud with an awesome and inspiring online dating profile!