Different women value different things, but all good women have certain things in common that they value in a man.

Looks are important, but may not be as important as you think. Bad boys invariably seem good-looking. And while that’s nice, most women prefer a man with intelligence and a certain amount of sensitivity and attentiveness (don’t confuse attentiveness with possessiveness – they’re two different things, and one is not good).

A great personality is more attractive than great looks. And a good sense of humor is important, too. It’s true that not everyone is going to like your sense of humor or your personality.

That’s fine. Not everyone will like your looks either, no matter who you are. You might be very good looking – good for you! But if that’s all you’re relying on to find a great woman, you’re in trouble.

Before we go any further, we need to stop and talk about looks. This is what’s important:

You should be well-groomed, meaning hair cut and combed in a style that you’re comfortable in.

You need to be clean and smell good – not like a cologne factory – just don’t smell of sweat and grime. Make sure your teeth are brushed, that you have fresh breath, and your hands and nails are clean and trimmed.

You want your clothes are neat and clean. They don’t have to be trendy, expensive clothes – just make sure they’re washed and ironed or at least so they don’t look like you grabbed them out of a pile on the floor.

Don’t get anxious about your looks. You might have a bald spot, or a receding hairline, or your six-pack is in the fridge, but not on your belly. Or you might not fit the GQ mold. You can try to fix those things if you want to, that’s fine.

But regardless, you have to be comfortable with yourself and project that. Women will find that interesting and sexy. Stand up tall and smile. Look like you know what you’re doing and what you want.

You’ll get a more positive response. It is perfectly fine to work on your looks if you’re not happy with them. If you think you need to hit the gym, then go! If you think you need to see the dentist for a whiter smile, then do it! If you think you need a haircut, then get one.

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Let’s talk about the substantial things that women value now. Women value the following (in no particular order):

• Confidence
• A nice smile
• Intelligence – this doesn’t necessarily mean book smarts – you have to show that you have common sense. However, many women appreciate a man who reads.
• Attentiveness
• Respect – for self and others
• A great sense of humor
• Acceptance of her for who she is
• A man who shows responsibility and stability
• A man who shares similar values and interests as she

These are the kinds of qualities that women find of lasting value and find attractive even if the hair has gone gray and the six-pack has disappeared.